Kids Which Nowbady Wants

For a long time, I worked as an Educator, with children  having behavior problems, hard to be educated. These are not kids that make so-called „petty pranks”. They do number of offenses, from small to the most serious, like rape and murder. These children are often aggressive to themselves, or to other children, even to the workers in institutions.  Work with children like these, is anything but boring. So, I will share with you one of my experiences, that you can get insight into these children – who are they, why they do such bed things and, how does it look like to work with them. (I’ve got an idea for this article  from Greg Prescott and his „Get Custom Ivy- Language Papers Today“, about writing a reflection paper. He said, that each one need to contain your insight, own perception, etc.)

This story is about a boy (name I can’t cite), in the institution where I worked.  That boy came there, when the legal conditions  was acquired. No wonder, because the environment had so many problems with him, that they could hardly waited him to be a 14. Many times, he has done „spectacles“ everywhere, mostly in institutions where he was situated . By the one of situation, he threw a chair through the window, to force workers to fear (he explained later). The other time, he threw the computer through the window, in the same reason. Later, when we  talked about that, he said that the reason was: „ Because  she has it, and  I don’t“. So, they all cheered when they succeeded, even temporarily, to get rid of him.usamljeno-dete

When he came to us, until he realized how “it works”, there were not  significant problems with him, for a few days long. However, after a while, he „remembered” that he could re-start to simulate seizures. He has , done it  before, already, causing  suspicion of psychiatrist on  epilepsy. He stayed, for a short time, in a Children’s Psychiatric Institution, because of  that. Coming to my group, he had „epileptic attacks“ several times, drawing the attention of the staff and other children. Simulating the attack, he rolled down the floor, trembled, with a foam  getting out of his mouth. His “performances” was similar to that he had already seen in the hospital, at the real patients. After these so-called attaks, he would be taken on  medical testing, to attract attention, again.

The mother of this child is highly promiscuous. She does not want to hear about her son!

The boy does not know who his father is!

I’ve been watching him for some time, seeing a few of these allegedly  attacks .   I’m not a psychiatrist, so I’m not competent to deny or confirm their opinions but, somehow, all these attacks seemed unreal and strange to me. He’s never been injured by falling down, in addition to smaller scratches. So, I came up with an idea, just for myself,  to check my assumptions, when the opportunity arise.

It was not long, when the opportunity appeared. One day, while I was sitting in my office, I’ve heard the boys, from the next room, shouting. Something unusual was going on. My thinking about „what to do” and “what’s going on”, forestalled with two boys, who came running into the office. They began to yell that “he” is heaving a seizure and foam on his mouth,  asking me to come in, and call a doctor. At that moment, not even now, I didn’t know how I’ve  been decided not to stand up. Instantly, like a shadow popped into my head, I realized that it is the opportunity to change something. I realized that later, of course. The contrary, quite calmly, I told them: “It’s nothing, don’t worry, everything will be all right.“ Even today, I do not know if it was courage or foolishness. However, I am sure, that if I’ve hesitated or thought for a moment, I wouldn’t do it. But, my subconscious was confident, then myself. Suddenly, they stopped, unaccustomed to such a response. At first, they obviously thought I was joking, or maybe I did not understand and, most likely, that something was wrong with me. I was, at that moment, sick of fear that I am maybe wrong. All the same, I continued to write, without paying attention on. Then, recovering their composure, boys began to complain, saying, „What kind of man you are, aren’t you going to help him,“ and things like that. My office was getting smaller more and more,  with ceiling falling down. Well, I’ve done what I’ve done. I’ve had to continue to „play” the role . Then I continued to answer coolly, trying to look so . Now, I remember it was to much to me, that I was feeling having no legs and couldn’t get up . Children looked at me in wonder, and returned to his room. I was left to sit alone, counting the seconds . At these never- ending moments, I wasn’t sure whether I was more dead or alive. That I made a mistake, I should not even think. Like a frozen, I expected one of them appearing. I’ve heard my own breathe, and them talking about something. In addition to all the other reasons, somewhere deep inside, I was more convinced than ever, that I was right.

It seemed to me that last an eternity, until they started to come out of their room. When I saw „him” among the others, I felt I could scream with joy. But, just for second, I recovered completely. As I wasn’t much interested in, I asked him if he was okay. He looked at me as being angry, but it was a strange sight, mixed with a smile. When other boys realized that their „stunt”  haven’t passed, (because all was a deal, as I supposed ),they  began to talk about some common, everyday things. After a short time, they came out, but „he” stayed. For a  few minutes, I continued to write something indifferently, but he remained silent. Then I lifted my head, asking him quite normally, if  he has finished with the performance. He nodded, and we began to  talk just like nothing had happened. This time, it seemed to be honestly. Apparently, he has barely greeted, then he smiled and congratulated me, telling that my “drama” was better than his. Luckily, he did not know how I felt about. Then he started to talk about his life, sufferings, freezing over days and nights. He also said, he was bored of such way of life, that he decided to change it.

After that, there was no task he refused to do , which I asked for. He performed each task, as well  as he could. My „drama” was finished well too, not only because he didn’t have any „attack” more. Work with him became quite different, withal. He used to talk about his miserable and sad childhood, often crying, but with confidence. Thanks to, as he said, he felt respect for adults, for the first time.

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